Good luck downloading literally anything in Texas if you're under 18, because the highest court in the land just greenlit a law that forces kids to ask mom and dad before hitting 'Get' on the app store.
Remember when tech companies spent the pandemic buying up everything in sight like they were playing Monopoly with real money? Well, the bill has officially arrived.
So, it turns out the US government has a giant, miserable tent city in the Texas desert, and the vibe is less "temporary processing center" and more "let's make this so awful they just sign the deportation papers."
If you had "military patrols as permanent capital decor" on your bingo card for this presidency, congratulations.
Just another casual Tuesday: the federal government is casually risking a global energy crisis in the Middle East, while state attorneys general are panicking that merging two giant media dinosaurs like Paramount and Warner Bros. might ruin their weekend streaming options.
Just when we thought global supply chains were getting a little too boring, the military decided to spice things up by parking warships in the world's most stressful chokepoint.
So, that fragile Middle East ceasefire lasted about as long as a wet match. The US is back to bombing Iran, Iran is blowing up tankers, and Donald Trump wants to charge ships a 20% protection tax.
Just when we thought the Middle East couldn't get more chaotic, we are now entering the mafia-style protection racket era of global shipping lanes.
So, Russia just launched another massive airstrike on Kyiv, killing at least 13 people. The wild part? Ukraine actually has the legendary air defense systems to stop this, they just don't have the actual ammo.
Apparently, sending an email to a government official is now a high-stakes stealth mission where federal agents hunt citizens down across state lines.
Turns out "love conquers all" doesn't apply to the federal government. If anyone thought marrying an American was a quick, romantic shortcut to citizenship, immigration lawyers have some hilarious bad news for them.
Another Monday, another wave of Russian explosives flying into civilian homes while the world debates "escalation" limits.