If you thought media consolidation couldn't get any weirder, the feds just greenlit a mega-merger that unites some of the biggest names in Hollywood. Because apparently, having five companies own everything is totally fine.
Because what the world definitely needs right now is one giant, monstrous streaming app that costs $30 a month and still deletes your favorite shows for tax write-offs.
The incoming administration wants to clean up federal data by banning 'statistical noise.' But in a classic twist of government logic, trying to make the data more accurate might actually force the feds to stop releasing it altogether.
Just when we were on the verge of an actual peace deal between the US and Iran, Israel decided to drop some missiles on Beirut because of a cease-fire violation. Now everyone is screaming at each other again.
Just when we thought national holidays were about fireworks and awkward family barbecues, the president decided to turn the country's milestone anniversary into a massive personal branding exercise.
The US is about to hit its semiquincentennial, and instead of planning a massive cake, historians are basically staging an intervention.
A massive overnight bombardment hit apartment blocks and a historic sanctuary in Kyiv, but the latest shipment of US air defenses and a wave of retaliatory strikes changed the math entirely.
Because nothing says "let's unite the country" quite like trying to delete the most uncomfortable parts of its history from the woods.
So, apparently, world peace is great for your portfolio, who knew?
So, the world didn't end today. In a plot twist absolutely nobody saw coming, the U.S. and Iran just shook hands on a deal to stop fighting and reopen one of the most stressful shipping lanes on Earth.
Alabama really wanted to try its new favorite toy — nitrogen hypoxia — on an inmate who actually asked for a firing squad instead. But the highest court in the land stepped in hours before the scheduled event.
Because nothing says "peaceful global superpower" quite like locking up an academic who spent his life analyzing how messy things are right across the border.